Unmasking the Layers
Healing Trauma Through Therapy
No matter how much I worked on myself over the past three years and gradually emerged from that difficult situation, discovering my identity, my voice, gaining confidence, and realizing I deserve better, my third serious relationship still ended. Initially, I was quite tough on myself, blaming myself for a long time, even replaying hurtful comments in my mind. It was challenging to comprehend where I was going wrong.
It was finally going to be answered for me, and it wasn't until March 2024 that I finally discovered the answer – therapy. Initially, I had been hesitant about it i had done various courses and the positive changes they brought. However, I soon realized that these only scratched the surface of the deeper issues I was facing.
Layer 1: Childhood Sexual Abuse and Trauma
Layer 2: Dysfunction
Layer 3: Losing My Daughters
Layer 4: Toxic Relationships
Layer 5: Chronic Illnesses
Layer 6: Domestic Violence
Layer 7: Losing My Soulmate
Layer 8: Losing My Best Friend
This is my baggage, and it's time to address it and seek help The accumulation of unresolved trauma has adversely impacted my nervous system, keeping me in survival mode for too long. My fight-or-flight response has been constantly active, has not helped my other health conditions
Trauma and life challenges, some of which may be difficult to handle. It's common to push these issues aside, hoping to deal with them later. However, as time goes by, we develop coping mechanisms that may involve turning to drugs, alcohol, making poor relationship choices, or engaging in risky behavior. Surrounding ourselves with the wrong company can lead us down a path where life seems either wonderful or completely chaotic. It often takes a wake-up call to make us realize when we need to say "enough is enough."
Back to that answer....
I selected the wrong partners, it's a straightforward fact. My past trauma and personal issues influenced this. I have a tendency to want to assist and fix others, but each person had their own challenges. I believed I could help, but instead, I lost myself and faced been treated like shit. I was striving for an ideal relationship image,I never wanted my children to experience what I went through in my childhood.
As I started therapy, the first module I'm learning is self compassion as she said this is where it all starts.
Self-compassion plays a critical role in the healing process, and for recovery. When we face challenges, traumas, or emotional setbacks, the path to healing often involves navigating through a complex maze of feelings, including guilt, shame, and self-criticism. At such times, self-compassion becomes an essential tool, fostering a kind, caring, and nonjudgmental relationship with yourelf. This approach not only soothes the wounded parts of our psyche but also empowers us to embrace our vulnerabilities with kindness rather than criticism.
Practicing self-compassion during healing to a healthier mental and emotional state by encouraging a balanced perspective on personal experiences. Instead of getting entangled in a harsh self-critical thoughts, self-compassion allows us to recognize your struggles as part of the human condition, fostering a sense of connectedness with others who have faced similar challenges. This shift from isolation to a shared human experience can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and despair, making the journey of healing less daunting
Self-compassion lays the groundwork for resilience, enabling us to rebound more effectively from setbacks. By treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding one would offer a good friend, we are better equipped to learn from our experiences without being overwhelmed by negative emotions. This nurturing approach encourages a mindset that views mistakes and failures as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. Ultimately, self-compassion not only accelerates the healing process but also enhances overall well-being, leading to a more fulfilling and contented life.
