The Emotional Rollercoaster

In recent months, it feels like flicking a light switch – turning it on creates a wonderful bubble of positivity, but switching it off leads to introspection. I've come to realize that some may not truly want to be a part of my world or life, which has been a significant realization. We are all navigating our own unique paths, and I deeply respect those who are on a journey of self-discovery. Unfortunately, some may use this journey as an excuse to walk away when things get tough, instead of embracing the challenge.

My pondering questions are these..

Is it acceptable to be aware of your issues but make no effort to address them?
Is it alright to wake up beside someone daily but not show any care?
Is it okay to go for months without taking any action?
Is it fine to undermine your job intentionally? Is it fair for others to support you while your partner is unwell?
Is it acceptable to leave your partner alone in the hospital while you are at work, engaging in social activities, and only checking in the next day?
Is it appropriate to continually trigger your partner, especially considering past experiences with domestic violence?
Would you abandon your partner during a health crisis?

Experiencing a familiar yet unsettling realization, not knowing what lies ahead. It's like being in that place again where my body shuts down, my mind is in turmoil, and my heart feels overwhelmed. It's been a while since I felt this triggered, and it's disheartening after putting in so much effort. The current feeling of discomfort is something I wish I could avoid, but I have to face it. Two years ago, I made a promise to myself when I left a man who caused me great pain, vowing never to let anyone break me like that again. The emotions I am feeling now serve as a reminder, prompting me to acknowledge and release them.

I've dedicated the past few years to self-improvement and personal growth, evolving significantly as an individual. It's disappointing when someone you thought would always be by your side takes a different path. We have different perspectives and journeys, and I understand that. Despite his reasons for not making it work, I must prioritize my well-being to avoid a crisis. It feels like a pivotal moment, a crossroads where I contemplate giving it a chance despite my doubts or gracefully accepting that we did our best, remaining friends while taking a break. It's a challenging decision to make.

I believe you recognize when you are dealing with PTSD and have encountered traumatic experiences, such as domestic violence. When you choose to share this with someone new entering your life, it's important to convey your journey and listen to theirs as well. While understanding they may have their own challenges to address, it can be difficult to go through similar experiences again. Acknowledging that you are not yet fully healed from your past, there comes a time when letting go becomes the only choice.

I may have various certificates, such as life coaching, healthcare, hospitality, and business, which required hard work and dedication to earn. However, what truly matters to me is the ability to connect with people, support them in finding happiness, and encourage them to be their best selves – physically and mentally. To truly make a difference and assist others, I believe in being authentic, vulnerable, and showcasing my personal journey, including overcoming challenges. Having experienced rock bottom, faced suicide, addiction, abuse, trauma, tragedy, and loss, I understand the depth of these struggles firsthand.

I have experienced a lot and gone through various challenges, understanding that everyone copes differently. I can empathize with the pain of losing children and the daily struggles. Furthermore, dealing with chronic illness and enduring chronic pain elevates the difficulty to another level.

Switching from light to dark and sharing my story, I aim to provide a glimmer of inspiration and hope, creating a safe haven of support. Sometimes, we become so entangled in life that we lose our voice, identity, and confidence. If I can connect with someone going through a similar experience or wanting to re-enter the workforce or business world, it would mean a lot. Whether dealing with chronic pain, being a chronically ill mom, or facing any other obstacle hindering progress, I believe in offering opportunities to those in need. Taking care of myself came a bit late, impacting my health, but incorporating a holistic food product daily ensures I am nurturing my well-being internally, regardless of external challenges. Providing an online health hub is another way for me to extend support, offering memberships for individuals to embark on a journey towards self-improvement and becoming the best version of themselves.

I felt the need to prioritize my health as I support others on their journeys. It's a fulfilling experience to realize that by helping thousands of people every day, I'm also helping myself. Whether it's through a post or a message, reaching out to someone keeps me motivated. Just like everyone else, I'm human and make mistakes, but we can support each other through challenges. Taking care of my mental health is crucial, and it's okay not to feel okay sometimes. It's important to acknowledge those tough days and focus on resetting, refocusing, and readjusting. If needed, don't hesitate to do this multiple times in a week.